Wednesday, April 06, 2005

The Living Will I signed..

I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of *#*&%#^politicians or religious leaders who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for a glass of wine or a cup of coffee, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

So let me die in peace, where I can get something to drink once I'm on the "Other Side".

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma.

Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this situation. Besides being none of their concern, I probably didn't vote for the idiots anyway. I don't care how many votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the presidency in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave me the F%$ alone to die in peace.

I couldn't care less if a hundred zealots send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these f#$(*&#$ people, and I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my behalf. They should mind their own business, too.

All the above also applies to any and all religious leaders. I do not need nor want them to speak on my behalf. I will not be a pawn for their man made religion and belief systems. I am utilizing my own FREE WILL in this matter. THIS IS MY CHOICE.

Once on the other side, I will have direct contact so I don't need the middle man. If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause, I hereby promise that once I have crossed over, to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell until their dying day.

_______________________________________ Signature
_______________________________________ Witness


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